


Dead and Gone

by sunkwans



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Magnus Bane, Blood and Gore, Cussing, Death, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Lots of that, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Walkers (Walking Dead), even the little ones, everyone's a bad ass, literally everywhere, lots of love too, malec is the main ship in this, who's surprised
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-17 01:09:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11840829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkwans/pseuds/sunkwans
Summary: Alec walked on, his gun held out in front of him, always ready. You could never be off guard in this place.The world had gone to shit. Everything and everyone pitted against each other; the living against the dead. And, eventually, the living against the living. Everything had been thrown into total chaos after the outbreak, or so Alec had been told. Alec hadn't been awake at the time. Hadn't been there to see the so called beautiful and safe planet they lived on fall into shambles.There wasn't a place without them.Zombies- or, Walkers, as Maia and Jordan called them- had overtook the world. Turned it to ash. Made the place not worth living on.They said it was terrifying. Screaming, all though the night. People rushing to get their families out- to get themselves out- and not making it ten feet without getting their jugular ripped out.Nothing could've prepared Alec for this. No one could've been prepared for this hell that they lived in now.





	Dead and Gone

**Author's Note:**

> hi, angels <3
> 
> a new story!
> 
> i'm terrified of zombies, and yet i really love them. 
> 
> the beginning of this is going to be heavily based on the walking dead, but i'm going to make my own little changes here and there.
> 
> i really love twd, more particularly glenn, and i just really wanted to write a shadowhunters cross-over sort of thing.
> 
> enjoy, angels <3

The road was practically abandoned- if you didn't count all of the wreckage left by cars. That's all the street was- cars and cars, for miles. Nothing but torn up, dirty cars. Alec found himself feeling lonely, probably the only living soul. 

Because the Walkers weren't living. They were horrible, evil things, out to get him. Alec wouldn't let a single one slip past. Alec would admit, though, that he was a bit scared without Maia and Jordan there with him. Even if they weren't there with him for long, Alec had found a friend in the two he'd met. They'd kept him alive, at least. That was worth thanking. 

Maia had taught Alec to kill them. Always hit their brain. It's the only way the fuckers would die. And Jordan had taught Alec how to keep himself alive; by keeping himself scarce. Keeping to himself. Until he found his family. Because Alec  _would_  find them.

Alec walked on, his gun held out in front of him, always ready. You could never be off guard in this place. 

The world had gone to shit. Everything and everyone pitted against each other; the living against the dead. And, eventually, the living against the living. Everything had been thrown into total chaos after the outbreak, or so Alec had been told. Alec hadn't been awake at the time. Hadn't been there to see the so called beautiful and safe planet they lived on fall into shambles. 

There wasn't a place without them. 

Zombies- or, Walkers, as Maia and Jordan called them- had overtook the world. Turned it to ash. Made the place not worth living on. 

They said it was terrifying. Screaming, all though the night. People rushing to get their families out- to get themselves out- and not making it ten feet without getting their jugular ripped out. 

Nothing could've prepared Alec for this. No one could've been prepared for this  _hell_ that they lived in now. 

Scattered around the road were dead bodies. Rotting, and decaying, but not turned. Probably dead before they could be. Alec considered those ones the lucky ones. The ones who didn't have to see this. See cars with blood splattered in the windows. To see houses that were once full of life, and love, now full of death and decay. 

Alec heard a shuffle. He hadn't heard any of the moaning and groaning that usually accompanied the Walkers, though. Total silence. Everywhere. 

Alec's eyes traveled carefully through the wreckage, as he stepped over a fallen bumper, making his way through the middle of the street, his gun still pointed out in front of him. 

The day was hot. The sun beamed down on him, trailing sweat into his eyes. Alec was sure that if he didn't have on the Sheriff hat he'd taken, that he'd be as red as a crab. 

Alec's eyes fell upon a small girl. She had her back turned to him, but Alec could see her hair- which had surely been blonde- matted with blood. She was wearing a pair of pink pajamas and pink slippers, as if she'd been rushed from her house in the middle of the night. 

There was a dirty teddy bear hanging limply from her hand. 

Alec took a calming breath. "Little girl?" He heard no reply. 

Alec tried again, louder and more forceful. "Little girl? Can you hear me?"

Alec hadn't dropped his gun. Hadn't dropped his stance. But when they little girl turned around, he almost did just so he could vomit. Her face was gray, and her hair was matted to her head with blood. She had blood dripping in globs from her mouth- where most of her bottom jaw had been ripped away, probably when she'd been first turned. The whole front of her shirt was drenched in blood- which looked pretty fresh too. Alec tried not to dwell upon whose blood it was- her parents? siblings?- and instead clicked the safety off of his gun. 

The little girl sniffed the air like a dog, and she smelled Alec, his flesh and blood. She started walking to him- finally emitting some of the weird moaning noises that Alec thought were only in horror movies- the teddy bear still in her grasp. Her walk got faster until she was running to him. 

"I'm sorry," Alec said quietly, before pulling the trigger, and hitting the girl right between her eyes. 

 

**THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE OUTBREAK: APRIL 25TH, 2010**

Alec took a bite out of the Arby's burger he held in his fist. There was decidedly too much barbecue sauce and not enough of the actual  _insides_ , but Alec still ate it. At least he could drown it down with the water he had beside him. 

"Okay, listen to this. I'm not saying that Clary has a thing for you. I'm really not! But, she said no when I asked her out. That has to mean  _something_ , Alec. No one can resist this charm."

Alec gave Jace an unimpressed glance. Alec's heart stopped racing at the very sight of Jace nowadays. They went back to being best friends, brothers- and more importantly- partners. Just like they were before Alec had admitted he loved Jace. Alec was drunk that night, and he regretted it immediately. Jace didn't even bat an eyelash. Alec's feelings had faded quickly- especially when Clary had shown up. They'd graduated from the Police Academy at twenty- nineteen for Jace-, and went right into work. Now, when Alec was twenty-two and Jace was twenty-one, they were some of the most respected cops in all of Dallas, Texas. Or, at least, their little corner of Dallas, Texas. The side of their cars said Dallas Police, even if most of their calls were answered in Mesquite. 

"Do you really think I want to hear about Carrot? Maybe she has a thing for Isabelle. I don't even like her- I barely even  _tolerate_  her. Why would she like me?"

Jace scoffed. "Alec, you're too hard on her! You just don't like her because she's a redhead."

Alec shrugged, taking another bite of his sandwich. He had only met Clary twice, but he'd heard enough about her to last himself a lifetime. He swallowed, his eyes roaming around the bright parking lot him and Jace had pulled into. There were a few other people loitering around, but Alec wasn't really looking, his eyes seeing nothing. 

"Jace, buddy, you and I both know that her hair isn't naturally red. That  _has_  to be dye. It's literally orange!"

Jace sighed, probably getting ready for a big argument- one that him and Alec had had literally  _so many_ times before. "Alright, you listen here, Alec. Have you seen her-"

 _"All available units. We have a high-speed pursuit. On highway 45, heading north east, near Wylie,_  Texas. _2-17, 2-4-3, advise extreme caution."_

Alec gave Jace his trash quickly, buckling his belt and turning the car back on. As they drove out of the lot, Jace leaned out of the window and stuffed the bag into a passing trash can. When Jace popped back into the car, Alec handed him the radio so he could reply. 

Alec turned the sirens on, and with a small smile to Jace, was racing off to highway 45. 

 

"There's two men in the vehicle, Jace. Make sure that we get both of them down before we approach the car," Alec ordered, following behind a trashy blue car with determination. 

Jace scoffed, rolling his shoulders back and checking the rounds in his gun. "Alec, we've done this before. I'll be fine, and so will you."

Alec sighed. He really wished Jace was a bit more careful and payed more attention than he actually did. "Make sure-"

"Alec. Stop. I'll be fine. Just follow the fuck heads."

Alec had to breath heavily through his frustration. If he wasn't Jace's partner, Jace probably would've gotten himself killed. Sometimes Alec wished it wasn't his little brother that was his partner, so he'd be a little bit more focused on his safety. Then again, Jace's partner probably wouldn't have been as protective of Jace, and that thought terrified Alec even more than getting himself killed did. 

There was another squad car following close behind Alec and Jace's their sirens on as well, although the car they were trailing hadn't cared so far. As soon as they heard the sirens, the streets cleared, people moving off to the side. Also, Alec was pretty sure they'd said something over the radios- maybe even given out an amber alert. This was a dangerous situation, and the less people involved, the better. 

Alec's hands were tight on the wheel, his grip turning his knuckles white. It wasn't that he was scared, just nervous. He hated bringing Jace into these situations- even if Jace was trained, just as he was. 

"Alec, how long-"

Jace's sentence came to a screeching halt- just as the car- when the car they were following became airborne, probably over the line of spikes the other guys had laid out. It flipped once in the air, before coming crashing down to the grassy side of the road. It rolled twice, and eventually came to a stop. The car was upside down, metal smashed all around it, pieces of debris littering the street. The sound of the car crashing was unlike anything Alec had ever heard. It was the deafening crunch of metal.

"Fuck," Alec cursed, pulling the car up more, before parking it to where the front of the car was facing the blue vehicle that had crashed. It would be easier for Jace and Alec to shoot if they needed to, protected by the doors. 

Alec slipped out of his seat, making sure that his vest was on tight, and opened the door all of the way. He leaned back into the car, rolling down his window, leaving the space open. 

"Alec, what the fuck are you doing?" Jace asked, looking over at Alec through the empty car. 

Alec sighed. "Jace, roll down your window so they won't break it on you. I'll be a hell of a lot less painful."

Jace nodded, making quick work of rolling down his window. 

It was a rookie mistake that people would make, leaving their window there and not all of the way down. It gave the people they were fighting against an advantage, because if that were to break on someone, glass would be raining down on them, cutting their head, and face, and shoulders up. Again, Alec was glad that he was Jace's partner instead of anyone else. 

Alec set his gun in the empty spot that the missing window created, keeping his head down, but high enough to where he could still see the other vehicle. Alec waited patiently, until one of the doors of the blue car busted out, flying well away from the car. Out stepped a man, a blue bandanna tied around his bald head, a grim determination set on his face. He was wearing a white shirt, contrasting his tan skin, and light-blue jeans. There was a gun in his hand- a big one, too far away for Alec to make it out. 

"DROP YOUR WEAPON!" Alec yelled. 

The man didn't listen, and instead began shooting, his bullets not well aimed and not hitting anywhere near Alec or Jace. It didn't matter, though. There were waves of bullets flying at them, enough to distract them and make it seem worse. 

Alec was shooting back, the recoil not even registering. 

Alec knew that Jace and the other two men were shooting as well, and the sound of guns were what filled Alec's ears. One after the other, they would shoot and the other man would shoot. Their bullets were bouncing off of the car beside the man, landing in the grass beneath him, but  _not hitting him_. 

And then Alec fired a shot that hit the man right in the chest, his shirt almost immediately soaked with blood. Someone else fired one more shot, and the man was down, red eating up his shirt. 

Alec stepped out from behind his door, his gun still held at the ready.

Alec was standing fully in front of the cruiser, when the second man crawled from the vehicle, dressed much like the first, but with a denim jacket on. He held his gun with one hand, giving off the semblance that he was confident with it. Alec didn't even try to get the man to drop his weapon, already knowing it was a lost cause. Alec knew he could get a better shot if he was out in the open like this, even if it was dangerous. 

Alec shot carefully at the man, one eye squinted against the sun. Alec had fired two shots when the man retaliated, and began shooting back, the gun firing one after the other. 

Alec was quite surprised when one of the shots hit him in the abdomen. 

Even with a vest on, the gunshot still hurt, as it still had most of the power behind it. Alec groaned, holding an arm on his chest and kneeling over. After a few more shots, Alec was positive the man was dead. 

Jace's face swam into view, his gold hair flopping as he ran, his bicolored eyes focused soley on Alec. "You okay, brother?"

Alec chuckled. "Yeah. Asshole got me right in the stomach."

Jace smirked, holding out a hand to Alec. "That's gonna bruise up real nice, ain't it?"

"Hell yeah. I don't know why I always seem to be the target."

Jace scoffed. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact you always step in the middle of fire."

Alec shrugged, slapping off his black issued pants, turning his eyes back up to Jace who was watching him carefully. "Jace, I'm fine. You don't have to be all mom with me."

"Fine. But, let's not tell Izzy. She would kill us."

Alec nodded. That much was fact. Alec was about to answer, when there was a noise from the car, and a third man stepped out, gun already aimed an ready. He pulled the trigger without preamble, and the shot hit Alec right in the shoulder. 

Pain exploded through Alec, unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Alec was down on the ground before Jace could finish yelling. Jace had his gun out in a split second, shooting like a maniac. 

Jace turned his attention down to Alec, holding pressure over the wound, making Alec groan in pain. 

"Y'ALL CALL AN AMBULANCE. NOW!" Jace yelled, whipping his head around to the other men. He put his focus back down on Alec, who was getting paler and paler, blood flowing from his wound. 

"You're going to be okay. Hear me?"

Alec coughed, shaking his head, before leaning back against the warm concrete. The sun- the sun felt nice on his skin. If only he could stay in the sun forever. It felt so, so good. 

"Alec, you can't pass out. Stay awake."

Jace's voice was muffled, as if he was trying to talk through a sheet of glass. Jace's hand on his shoulder was the last thing Alec felt before he was unconscious, the pain becoming too much for his body to withstand. 

 

**PRESENT DAY: JULY 30, 2010**

_"It's something about this vase, Alec. I'm telling you. It's a charm. I gave it to Clary- with flowers in it, obviously, and she was by my side the next day. I don't know what it is about it."_

Alec smiled, slowly blinking his eyes open. "Did you tell grandma you stole her vase?"

There was no reply. 

Alec's smile fell, and he blinked his eyes open to unfamiliar surroundings. The ceiling was white, small cracks running through it like webwork. "Jace?"

Alec turned his head, looking for Jace. But Jace wasn't standing beside his bed like Alec remembered. There was a machine hooked to Alec's arm, a saline drip, Alec guessed, but the machine didn't look to be on.

There were no lights on in the room, the only light in there pouring from the window. 

The room was empty. The only thing in it was Alec. Alec's shoulder was throbbing, and the memory of his GSW came to him, and he remembered that the last thing he really remembered was Jace's face hovering above his while his shoulder bled. 

Alec ripped the needle from his arm, ignoring the bit of blood that puffed up, and tried to get up out of bed. The blood all rushed from Alec's head, making him lightheaded. 

Alec almost passed out right on the spot, but he found himself in a heap on the floor, a groan falling from his mouth. "Nurse? Nurse!"

Again, no reply. There were no noises like there normally would be in a hospital. All Alec heard was his own heavy breathing and the pounding of his heart. Jace had obviously been there before, a white vase decorated with gentle purple flowers on the bedside table, but as Alec crawled closer, he noticed that all the flowers were wilted and dead, crumbling beneath his fingers when he grabbed a fallen petal. 

Alec's throat went dry with fear, and he forced himself up on his feet, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. He was a cop. He could do this. All he had to do was get out of his room and search. 

Alec stumbled his way to the door of his room, pulling on the handle. There was only a little bit of resistance but Alec managed the door open, his fingers slipping on the metal handle with sweat. 

The stench of death hit Alec's nose as soon as the door opened. Alec pushed himself out of the door, moving a forgotten hospital bed out of the way carefully, stepping out into the hallway. 

The lights were off, some hanging down from the ceiling like fucked up chandeliers. Out in the hallway, the only light came from the small windows collected at the top of the walls.

Alec took a left, his eyes searching through the debris on the ground. There was what looked like medical supplies- syringes, tournitquets, and tubes of all kinds- and, what scared Alec, there was blood. Everywhere. Splattered on the walls, streaked across the floors as if someone had been dragged, in large puddles. Alec had to avoid stepping in blood multiple times, trying to keep his bare feet as clean as possible. There was a large metal table flipped onto its side, silver tools laying around it, left behind and forgotten. Alec knelt down, grabbing one that looked like a knife. It was a scalpel, Alec knew, used for cutting through flesh during surgery. Alec hoped it would be enough to protect himself. 

Alec continued on down the hallway, but his steps got slower when he saw what looked like a body in the middle of the floor. Alec didn't know what the fuck was going on around him, but he wasn't dumb enough to think that person was just dead. 

Alec took trepidatious steps, carefully lessening the space between the body and himself. Alec pretended not to notice a chunk of what looked like flesh splattered on the wall, trying not to let his brain get too scattered. 

Alec stepped close enough to the body to where he could get a good look of it, and backed away with a gag. It definitely used to be a woman, judging by the picture still clinging to her bloody scrub top, but now, she was unrecognizable, her face rotted and clinging to her bones. There was a huge hole where her stomach used to be, but she seemed to have been ripped open. By what, Alec didn't know. 

Alec carefully stepped around the body, sparing her one more glance before he was off down the hallway, the scalpel held tightly in his grasp. He wouldn't end up like that body. He would fight. For his family- to find them- Alec would fight. He wouldn't let them live on without him. 

Alec heard a banging, and various sorts of groans. Alec sped up his walking, trying to find whatever he was hearing. As Alec traveled further down the dilapidated hallway, the sounds of banging got louder, the groans becoming more attentive. 

As if they smelled him coming. 

Alec wouldn't believe it. No way. Zombies weren't real. That was impossible, only something shown in cheesy scary movies and scary stories told around a fire. There was  _no way_. 

But as Alec ended the hallway, there was a set of double doors, chains wrapped around the handles. 

"Don't dead, open inside?" Alec read quietly. And then he read the left door down, moving his eyes over to the right side. "Don't open, dead inside." It looked to be written blood- or some other red substance- and Alec was about to step closer, when a collective bang hit the door. Alec almost yelled, but slapped a hand over his mouth at the last second. If there were dead inside, why the fuck was there banging? 

Alec shuffled a little bit closer, hoping to see between the cracks in the door, when a hand came bursting out of the crack, gripping on air. The hand was turning black and purple, the nails broken off and slathered in blood. Alec gasped, and watched as two more hands came pushing through, all three hands clawing at nothing. 

The moans became insistent, the banging on the door getting less controlled. 

Alec didn't waist another second. He dropped the scalpel and ran. 

Running was still hard on his body considering the fact he'd just been shot- however long ago that was- but he pushed himself, forgetting about the pain, trying to leave it behind. He wasn't afraid of the zombies- if that's what they were- but he was afraid for his family. His little sister, his two little brothers. Hell, Alec was even scared for his parents, wherever they were on the continent. 

Used to be that Alec's parents were always there. They were there to see Max's fifth birthday, and then they were there to see his sixth birthday. But when Max turned ten, it was like their parents hightailed it out. They were constantly gone for work, flying to different states, and then, eventually, different countries. Nowadays, Alec didn't even know where they were most of the time. 

Alec had to become a parent to his siblings at a young age. He was going through the Police Academy with Jace, and then having to go home and take care of his sister who was still in high school, and his little brother who was about to go into middle school. Eventually, Isabelle got out of middle school and started working at the DPD with Alec and Jace, but as a forensic scientist. She was practically a genius. So many times had her brain saved peoples asses- Jace and Alec included. 

Max was smart too. Very, very smart. He loved reading. Did it for fun. Homework wasn't even a problem for him. Max used to like hacking into things- starting small, like Isabelle's social media accounts, and Alec's work laptop- until he started actually learning things. One of Clary's friends- Alec didn't care enough to know his name- had started teaching Max things, showing Max his way around a computer. Max would grow up to do good things. 

Or maybe he would've, if the world hadn't fallen apart. 

Alec pushed open the doors to go outside, breathing heavily. At first, all he saw was white. It was like he was walking on the sun. His eyes were literally  _burning_  it was so bright outside. Alec quickly threw a hand up over his eyes, shielding them from the light. Eventually his eyes adjusted, and he took it what used to be Dallas, Texas. 

There were white sheets. Everywhere. 

They covered dead bodies, Alec knew. Some of the sheets had blood stains, some were perfectly clean. Some hadn't done their job, and bodies were laying full out on the ground. Alec stepped out of the hospital doorway, shielding his eyes, but now using a hand to cover his nose as well. He could see and hear flies buzzing around the bodies in a flurry of motion. 

It was still beautiful, still Texas. The trees around the hospital hung high, still showing green- letting Alec know it was either spring or summer- and the leaves rustled with the slight gust of wind. 

The sun was beaming down on him, hot and unrelenting. Alec was sure that it was summertime- July, possibly. Which meant that he would've been out for at least three months. 

Alec stumbled out into the open, his dressing gown floating around him. There was a bandage on his shoulder, and one on his side, from where he'd been shot while he was wearing the vest. He didn't have a shirt on. Didn't have any pants- only his boxers. No shoes. 

He was defenseless aside from his barehands. Alec was questioning if he should go back into the hospital and pick up the scalpel and all of the other scalpels, but he knew that the only way he could go was forward. He would stumble down that fucking street until he got back to his house.

 

Alec was there. He was home. He practically ran inside, but there was no one. Nothing. 

"Isabelle?" No reply. 

Alec felt himself getting hysteric. "Jace! Max!"

The house was dead silent. Nothing, absolutely  _nothing_. Alec saw broken glass scattering the floor, and he felt his chest get tight with unshed tears. Were they still alive? Had his family survived?

There was no way to know. 

But Alec did his best to look for clues. He searched through his house, Isabelle's room, Jace's room, and then little Max's room. There was nothing. Literally. All of the pictures had been cleared out. Blankets, pillows. Gone. 

Alec made sure to check Isabelle's room very well- looking for one thing in particular. It was gone too. Her snake bracelet, gone. Alec had gotten that for Isabelle a long while ago. It was something Alec had seen in a window while walking home, and God, it was  _perfect_  for her. Isabelle had squealed when he'd given it to her, and practically jumped on Alec, holding him tight and saying thank you about seventy million times. That's why he got it for her. Not because he knew it'd look amazing on her- although, of course she did- but because he loved seeing her happy. He also had told her it doubled as a whip if you unwrapped it all of the way, but she didn't like that much.  _"So over protective_ _,"_ she'd said. 

Alec let himself fall to his knees, holding his little sisters blanket in his arms, and he cried. He sobbed out his siblings names, and he let himself remember that happy endings were never really the end. Even if he did find his siblings- something he  _had_  to do- they would still be living in a place of death. 

 

***

 

Magnus looked at his people, all around him. 

Isabelle sitting with Max as he read his book, touching his dirty blonde hair with a gentle hand. 

Jace showing Clary how to handle a gun, both of them sharing equally loving gazes and touches. 

Raphael pretending not to hear Simon blabbing on and on about what the hell ever he wanted, even though Magnus knew for a fact Raphael was clinging on to his every word. 

Raj and Lydia throwing knifes at a little target they'd carved into a plank of wood, laughing when the other missed. 

Luke and Jocelyn keeping watch on top of Ragnor's RV, but their hands clasped in each others, making small talk when they thought no one was looking. 

And lastly, Magnus looked at Catarina, Ragnor, and Madzie. Madzie was drawing things in the dirt- with a stick, of course- while Catarina and Ragnor talked about God knows what, their eyes never leaving Madzie for even a second. 

Even in a world full of hate and death, there was still love, and Magnus felt himself smile at the fact he was surrounded by so much of it. 

But, that would have to end soon. People had to go into town- and that, that was deadly. Dallas, Texas was practically overrun. 

They were running low at camp. Food- cans of corn, or any other sort of canned food, protein bars- water, tools, and just stuff for them to do other than sit around all day. They were practically low on everything. So Magnus had to send some people to go. 

"Guys, can I talk to you? Joce, Luke, stay up there and keep watch. Everyone else, please?"

They all looked up to Magnus. He was a leader, of some sort. That didn't mean he wanted to be. Leaders had to make tough choices- which included the one he was about to make- and Magnus had always hated making the decisions no one else wanted to make. It was hard, and it  _hurt_  to break these beautiful bonds. 

It was almost overwhelming how quick everyone was to Magnus, all of them standing and looking at him with expectant eyes. 

Magnus could see lingering pain in everyones eyes. Especially the Lightwood's. Magnus would see Isabelle looking down at the silver snake bracelet/whip wrapped around her wrist, and a few tears would leak from her eyes. Jace never hid his pain. He would openly sob during the night, and it broke Magnus' heart. 

But what hurt the most was seeing Max break. Max would try to hold it in until there wasn't anyone there. He would tell his sister he'd have to go to the bathroom- promising to take a knife with him- and would go cry instead. Magnus had trailed Max once- per Isabelle's request- and he'd seen what happened. But Magnus decided that he wouldn't tell Isabelle. That was Max's secret. 

Raphael's dark eyes always held pain. Raphael had lost his parents at a young age, and had been raised by his big sister Rosa. But Rosa had died when the apocalypse began, and Magnus had to take Raphael with him- even when Raphael didn't  _want_  to go, wanting to die. Magnus had taught Raphael to fight, and that no, the pain wouldn't stop, but eventually, it would become easier. Never easy. But easier. 

Magnus wasn't dumb enough to think Madzie didn't know what was going on. Madzie had seen her Nana get attacked by a Walker, and had to hide herself away so the same thing didn't happen to her. Catarina and Ragnor had found Madzie almost starved to death, hiding down in the basement of her Nana's house. 

Catarina and Ragnor had lost friends and family. They really had. But Magnus couldn't help but notice every time they looked at Madzie, their eyes lit up. 

Lydia and Raj had been together when everything went to shit, and from what Magnus heard, they hadn't really had family to begin with. The two of them had been best friends since childhood, and Magnus was glad they had each other during the apocalypse. 

Simon lost his sisters and his mother. Magnus would see Simon crying, before he was comforted by Clary, or Luke, sometimes even Jocelyn. Raphael had told Magnus the story of how Simon's mother died to save Simon and his sister Rebecca, and then Rebecca had been attacked in her sleep, when she was most vulnerable. Simon had Clary, though, and Simon seemed okay with that. Sometimes, though, pain muffled happiness. Even if pain was such an unwanted feeling, they'd all felt it so much, too much. 

Clary was as happy as someone could be in this time. She hadn't really lost anyone- aside from Alec. But Magnus was pretty sure they'd all felt the loss of Alec because of all the stories they'd been told by the Lightwoods. 

Pain was in everything. Only the lucky were oblivious enough not to see it. But in the fragile world they were in, no one was lucky. 

"I need a few of you to go out on a supply run," Magnus said. 

Everyones face fell. Magnus felt his stomach clench up as he named out who he thought should go. 

_Simon. Raphael. Raj. Ragnor. Lydia._

Pain was inevitable. As was death. But that didn't mean Magnus wanted it any faster than it should be. 

 

***

Alec walked out of his old house on shaky legs. He called it his old house because everything that made it his was gone. 

Alec gave up on running for the moment. All he wanted was to sit. So, Alec went and sat on the steps leading up to the house behind him. 

It was hot and humid outside, the sun beating heavily down on him, but Alec welcomed the sweat slipping in cool beads down his neck and his back. Any sort of sensation aside from the numbing pain in his chest and the throbbing in his shoulder was a good one. 

Alec looked to the right, his eyes resting upon a man walking down the street- so far away he was like a vision of black. 

Alec lifted up a hand in a wave, his face pulled into a smile. Any sort of friend was a good one. 

There was a crunch of leaves beside him, and Alec turned his head sharply to the left. 

A shovel swung quick, hitting him right in the face. Pain exploded from Alec's nose, and he fell back, his head landing rather sharply on the concrete behind him. 

All Alec saw was blonde hair. "Jace? Jace, you're here." 

"MAIA! Get over here!"

Alec flinched when he heard a gunshot, and the sound of a body crumbling. Alec let his head fall to the side, and a dark girl with a large black afro was walking their way, and gun held tight in her grip. 

Someone was laying on the ground, sprawled and bleeding.

Dead. 

The girl- Maia, Alec imagined- stopped above Alec, her dark eyes looking him over and stopping for a long moment on his bandage. She hoisted up her gun. "Were you bit?"

Alec didn't reply- couldn't reply. Everything was getting fuzzy. The girl above him. Isabelle.

"What is that bandage for? Answer me, damnit! I won't hesitate to shoot."

Alec wanted to reach out for his sister, but the darkness dragged him below. 

 

What a fragile world it was. 

**Author's Note:**

> wow, what an eNDING.
> 
> i hope this wasn't too shit, but like i said, zombies are fucking terrifying, and they always will be.
> 
> of course, kudos & comments are welcome, and much appreciated <3
> 
> i'm going to TRY to make this a slow burn, but i have soooo much trouble with that. i just want our boys together. they're meant to beeeeeeeeeee
> 
> all of the love,
> 
> tori <3


End file.
